The one about how Elvis Presley stole my knish

Hi there. Hello again.

I am glad you are here again. I hope you have come here to hear a story so here is one already.

It was January 1957, and I was living near New York City around the Queens borough. It had just been the New Years, so it was January 4 or 5, 1957. I was sitting in the Marcy Ave. Deli enjoying reading the newspaper funnies and eating a potato knish. I was 94 years old already but I looked good for my age.

I was eating a knish and there was one more on my plate that I was going to eat. Oy, but I never ate it. This young man with the crazy hair and with hair next to his ears, he walks by and he sees my knish. Feh, but what does he do but he takes my knish and eats it!

I was never so angry before.

A few days later and I am watching the Ed Sullivan Show, and who do I see but this shmendrik who stole my knish. And this was Elvis Presley and he was dancing with his hips and the shaking of the tuchis.

And then after he is done with the singing, Mr. Ed Sullivan is talking to him and Elvis Presley he takes the microphone and says "Morty! Hi. Thank you for the knish."

Later, he got very fat and died on the toilet.

Sincerely,
-Morty Horowitz